Forgiveness (Do I Really Have To???)

Fireproof Your Life
“Forgiveness” By Shane Pruitt

Preached at OHBC 12 - 14 - 08

A 2001 study done by the American Medical Student Association revealed a correlation between reviewing hurtful memories and measures of the stress response (EMG, heart rate, blood pressure). When subjects were encouraged to think forgiving thoughts, the stress response was diminished.
o Decreased anger and negative thoughts
o Decreased anxiety
o Decreased depression and grief
o Decreased vulnerability to substance use

A Great Quote - “Forgive me my mistakes, I’m still kid learning the responsibility of being an adult.”

Matthew 18:21 – 35

- This parable is only recorded in Matthew. Maybe because it meant the most to him being a forgiven and hated tax collector.

I. Receiving Forgiveness Matthew 18:21 – 27
1. Peter’s Question: "Do I forgive someone Seven times?"
i. The Pharisees of the day tought that it was considered sufficient to forgive someone three times, but on the fourth time, there should be no forgiveness.
ii. Jesus replies "Forgive someone Seven times Seventy"
a. Jesus did not mean his followers ought to keep count up to 490 times,but rather, don’t keep track. It is like us saying an infinite amount of times.
2. The key to Forgiving others is Remembering how much God has Forgiven You.
3. Jesus set the Incredible Example for Forgiveness
a. “ When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right and died for us sinners. God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” - Romans 5:6, 8
i. Forgive – Greek (af-ee-ay-mee) “lay aside, let go, put away”
ii. It is easy to ask God for forgiveness but difficult to grant it to others.
a. “ And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:12, 14 – 15

4. Keys to Receiving Forgiveness:
i. Ask God to reveal anything that you’ve done to hurt someone
ii. You have to be open and honest
iii. In apologizing, don’t bring up the other person’s faults.
iv. In apologizing, don’t try to blame others
v. To receive forgiveness, you must be willing to forgive
vi. Seek God’s forgiveness first
vii. Realize that forgiveness is necessary for worship
a. “ But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too.” – Mark 11:25

II. Giving Forgiveness Matthew 18:28 – 35
- “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have someone to forgive.” – C. S. Lewis

1. Carrying Unforgiveness only hurts yourself.
i. You can’t always control what happens, but you can control whether you forgive or not.
ii. If you’re the one carrying unforgiveness, then you’re the one suffering. They don’t care, or even know that you've grown bitter towards them. You’re the one that can’t sleep, eat, or think about anything else. You’re the one driving everyone else around you crazy, because it is all you talk about. NOT THEM!
2. True Forgiveness is:
i. Asking God to reveal anything that you need to forgive
ii. Important for reducing stress and anger
iii. A deliberate decision
iv. An deliberate action
v. A step in the process of healing
vi. An on-going process
vii. Done in obedience to God

3. True Forgiveness is/does not:
i. Always deserved
ii. Just a feeling
iii. Require an apology from the person you’re forgiving
iv. The same as forgetting
v. Mean that I agree with the other person’s behavior
vi. Require that I fully trust the other person
vii. Minimize the hurt that I’ve suffered
viii. Require that the other person forgive me as well

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” – Colossians 3:13

- “When you bury the bury hatchet, don’t bury it in someone else’s back.” – Anonymous

Illustration THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
- On October 2, 2006 at 10:25 AM, gunman Charles Carl Roberts IV walked into a oneroom Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania. Held hostages for about half an hour before eventually killing five school girls aged 6 – 13, before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide.
However, the Amish community extended forgiveness: One Amish man held shooter’s sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him. The Amish have also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter. About 30 members of the Amish community attended shooter’s funeral and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of the victims. Marie Roberts(shooter’s wife) wrote an open letter to her Amish neighbors thanking them for their forgiveness, grace, and mercy. She wrote, "Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you."

Video Clip:
- Caleb and Catherine Holt (Fireproof Movie) having been falling apart. Caleb is watching online porn, she is seeking an office romance. They have filed for divorce. However,Caleb’s dad ask him to do a book called the Love Dare, which is a for forty day journey in learning to love. He gets saved, and seeks the forgiveness of his wife to save their marriage.

Conclusion:
- Imagine my only child, Raygen, on the Cross. Put her face to what all Jesus went through for us: physically and spiritually.
o Now take her down! I don’t and can't love you that much.
- However, God does.
o Even while hanging on the cross… Jesus forgave!

“When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed Him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified – one on His right and one on His left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.’” – Luke 23:33 – 34

o Jesus was suffering the most horrible, painful death ever devised by sinful man, and he looked at the people responsible for His suffering and prayed for their forgiveness.

I don’t have a right to hold grudges. You don’t have a right to hold grudges!