Forgiveness (Do I Really Have To???)

Fireproof Your Life
“Forgiveness” By Shane Pruitt

Preached at OHBC 12 - 14 - 08

A 2001 study done by the American Medical Student Association revealed a correlation between reviewing hurtful memories and measures of the stress response (EMG, heart rate, blood pressure). When subjects were encouraged to think forgiving thoughts, the stress response was diminished.
o Decreased anger and negative thoughts
o Decreased anxiety
o Decreased depression and grief
o Decreased vulnerability to substance use

A Great Quote - “Forgive me my mistakes, I’m still kid learning the responsibility of being an adult.”

Matthew 18:21 – 35

- This parable is only recorded in Matthew. Maybe because it meant the most to him being a forgiven and hated tax collector.

I. Receiving Forgiveness Matthew 18:21 – 27
1. Peter’s Question: "Do I forgive someone Seven times?"
i. The Pharisees of the day tought that it was considered sufficient to forgive someone three times, but on the fourth time, there should be no forgiveness.
ii. Jesus replies "Forgive someone Seven times Seventy"
a. Jesus did not mean his followers ought to keep count up to 490 times,but rather, don’t keep track. It is like us saying an infinite amount of times.
2. The key to Forgiving others is Remembering how much God has Forgiven You.
3. Jesus set the Incredible Example for Forgiveness
a. “ When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right and died for us sinners. God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” - Romans 5:6, 8
i. Forgive – Greek (af-ee-ay-mee) “lay aside, let go, put away”
ii. It is easy to ask God for forgiveness but difficult to grant it to others.
a. “ And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:12, 14 – 15

4. Keys to Receiving Forgiveness:
i. Ask God to reveal anything that you’ve done to hurt someone
ii. You have to be open and honest
iii. In apologizing, don’t bring up the other person’s faults.
iv. In apologizing, don’t try to blame others
v. To receive forgiveness, you must be willing to forgive
vi. Seek God’s forgiveness first
vii. Realize that forgiveness is necessary for worship
a. “ But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too.” – Mark 11:25

II. Giving Forgiveness Matthew 18:28 – 35
- “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have someone to forgive.” – C. S. Lewis

1. Carrying Unforgiveness only hurts yourself.
i. You can’t always control what happens, but you can control whether you forgive or not.
ii. If you’re the one carrying unforgiveness, then you’re the one suffering. They don’t care, or even know that you've grown bitter towards them. You’re the one that can’t sleep, eat, or think about anything else. You’re the one driving everyone else around you crazy, because it is all you talk about. NOT THEM!
2. True Forgiveness is:
i. Asking God to reveal anything that you need to forgive
ii. Important for reducing stress and anger
iii. A deliberate decision
iv. An deliberate action
v. A step in the process of healing
vi. An on-going process
vii. Done in obedience to God

3. True Forgiveness is/does not:
i. Always deserved
ii. Just a feeling
iii. Require an apology from the person you’re forgiving
iv. The same as forgetting
v. Mean that I agree with the other person’s behavior
vi. Require that I fully trust the other person
vii. Minimize the hurt that I’ve suffered
viii. Require that the other person forgive me as well

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” – Colossians 3:13

- “When you bury the bury hatchet, don’t bury it in someone else’s back.” – Anonymous

Illustration THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
- On October 2, 2006 at 10:25 AM, gunman Charles Carl Roberts IV walked into a oneroom Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania. Held hostages for about half an hour before eventually killing five school girls aged 6 – 13, before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide.
However, the Amish community extended forgiveness: One Amish man held shooter’s sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him. The Amish have also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter. About 30 members of the Amish community attended shooter’s funeral and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of the victims. Marie Roberts(shooter’s wife) wrote an open letter to her Amish neighbors thanking them for their forgiveness, grace, and mercy. She wrote, "Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you."

Video Clip:
- Caleb and Catherine Holt (Fireproof Movie) having been falling apart. Caleb is watching online porn, she is seeking an office romance. They have filed for divorce. However,Caleb’s dad ask him to do a book called the Love Dare, which is a for forty day journey in learning to love. He gets saved, and seeks the forgiveness of his wife to save their marriage.

Conclusion:
- Imagine my only child, Raygen, on the Cross. Put her face to what all Jesus went through for us: physically and spiritually.
o Now take her down! I don’t and can't love you that much.
- However, God does.
o Even while hanging on the cross… Jesus forgave!

“When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed Him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified – one on His right and one on His left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.’” – Luke 23:33 – 34

o Jesus was suffering the most horrible, painful death ever devised by sinful man, and he looked at the people responsible for His suffering and prayed for their forgiveness.

I don’t have a right to hold grudges. You don’t have a right to hold grudges!

Home Alone

Well, it is December, which means it is Christmas time! I love everything there is to love about the Christmas season: focusing on the birth of Jesus, the decorating, the lights and music, giving gifts to others, spending time with family and church family, all the parties, etc.

Another, part of this season that I really look forward to are all the classic Christmas movies: The Christmas Story, National Lampoons Christmas, Rudolph (claymation), Charlie Brown Christmas, Christmas with the Kranks, Santa Clause 1, 2, & 3, and last but least Home Alone.

Interestingly, it never gets old watching two nimrod burgalurs getting out-witted by am eight-year-old. Although, I can't help but think about the parents of that poor boy. Didn't there turn out to be like fifteen different Home Alone movies? Those have to be the most unresponsible parents of all-time! Wow! Being left home once... possibly. But, eighty-two times? Come on now! Buy that boy one of those kid-leashes during Christmas time, so that you know he is going to stay right there with you!

Well, McCauley Culkin (that eight-year-boy) was left Home Alone numerous times, and it wasn't normal at all. But, that is exactly the desire of Jesus for you during this time. As a Christian, your body has become a Temple for the Holy Spirit. It was baught and paid for by Jesus on the cross and through the resurrection. Your body, mind, soul, and life has become His home. It is really mind-boggling to meditate on the fact that God is residing inside of you. Quite simply, it is His 'home sweet home'.

This is my challenge during this Season: let Jesus be Home Alone in me. My desire is that I don't allow the trappings of a 'comercial Christmas' to come into my life and reside with the 'REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON... JESUS'.

This is Jesus' Holy-Day, not my holiday. He is the center of this time. Think in ratios: how much time will I spend shopping, compared with how much time I spend with Jesus in praying and Bible-reading? How much money will I give to Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, etc., compared with how much money I will give to Jesus through the church? How much time will I spending serving food, compared to the time I spend serving the Kingdom of God? I wonder how much effort I will put into inviting people to my parties, compared to how many people I will invite to my church?

Lord, help me make You Home Alone in this Season. There is room for no other!

I don't know... just thoughts from this Ranting Pastor!